On January 29th I left Fuquay Varina, NC, to see my daughter, son in law and to meet my first grandson. I was on cloud 9.
The bad news is that we were expecting 12 inches of snow in Charlotte on the 31st. The other bad news is that shortly after I jumped in the car, I remembered I had forgotten a coat. The good news is there was a Tractor Supply every 30 miles or so. So when I saw one conveniently located I stopped. I found a warm vest and a fleece jacket. Shortly after that, my phone lit up with my son in law’s name! He let me know that my grandson had been born!!!
I went straight to the hospital. My son in law met me in a waiting room. We walked out into the hallway and they were wheeling my daughter out of the recovery room. Bonus! She was holding her son!!! What a precious image and a joyous moment for me.
In the hospital room with my daughter and son in law I asked about the baby’s middle name. They had not shared it. My son in law looked up from his son, and said, it is David. This is my husband’s first name. Another blessing in a day full of blessings.
David’s father came to Tampa in 1962 after Castro’s goons came to his house and took everything they owned. Communism is awful and always will be. cc: New York City. David’s father spent the rest of his life working, raising his family of four boys with his wife. He spent many thousands of dollars rescuing family members still in Cuba sponsoring their escape to the United States. I wish he were alive to meet his grandson.
It’s about a month and a half until Hummingbird Watch Season. This is the time I watch for hummingbirds to arrive. But now it will be even better because we’ve got a new baby to watch. Based on the pictures I’ve seen, he’s grown, as has his blond hair. And he’s got dimples. They are so cute.
This was the trip of a lifetime. No trip could have beaten it.
Anyone in the midwest or east coast has been hearing about this snowstorm for weeks. It’s going to be dire, or might be dire, or might not be too bad, or maybe nothing at all, is the joke on social media. Regardless, many southerners, including me, have probably been to the grocery store a few times this week (3 times in the last few days for me). People online make fun of us, but this is not my first Snowmagedden. When we first moved here in January 2000, from South Florida, we got 25 inches of snow ten days after we’d moved in. We had jackets, but certainly nothing suitable for snow. Our oldest daughter was 2 and we had two giant dogs, who had no idea how to do their business in snow. We couldn’t get our car out of our steepish driveway. It was almost a week before a sweet neighbor offered to drive us to a grocery store.
So we’ve learned that it can be crazy here in the south, and we go and get what we need, and most importantly, we get our comfort food. We all do, and this was a local store yesterday
There was food, but there was an absence of several items. That first image was potatoes. I’m not even sure what was supposed to be in the second image but there was an absence of them.
While there was an absence of food, there was not an absence of patience, kindness and even a little joviality. We are all in this together and everyone at the store felt it. I was positively a little giddy as I walked around interacting with folks. While there was an absence of SkinnyPop Popcorn, there was some on the top shelf and a tall gentleman offered to reach some for me.
I was taking these photographs in the produce section, and one of the workers who walked in from the back, saw me and smiled. She approached and explained, “Yes there has been a rush on food, but we also don’t normally get a truck on this day. But there is one on the way”. Very friendly. They had plenty of cashiers and the young man who checked me out was extremely friendly and I was happy to chat with him as well. I mean if you know me, you know that.
I left, grateful for the items I was able to purchase to prepare for the upcoming storm. I left grateful for pleasant interactions with so many people in the same situation. And I left grateful that as I was completing my check out I heard over the intercom, “Attention, the delivery truck has arrived at the back loading dock.”
I leave you with yet another AI enhanced hummingbird. It’s a photo I took but I added snowflakes and some snow. Grok does seem to make images I ask it to enhance a bit cartoonish, but this is one of my images. And I anxiously wait the arrival of my grandson, who will be here sometime in the next few days.
I hope that you are one of the lucky ones, who can remember the magic of Christmas when you were young. The lights, the presents, the hope that Santa would show, and the missing cookies and milk in the morning. In retrospect our Christmas was never extravagant but the tree and lights always made the magic for me.
When the kids were young, I tried to create similar memories for them. But, hosting the storybook Christmas becomes harder as your children grow up, move away, and get married. Our oldest daughter lives 3 hours away. She is married to a medical professional who doesn’t get holidays off. So, we see them when we see them. It’s easy to obsess about things you have no control over. This article made me think about the things I do have control over during the holidays.
Food
Cooking is so much fun now. My gosh the extravaganza of cooking shows to watch is amazing. It’s really magical for me to watch these chefs cook. My personal favorite is Guy’s Ranch Kitchen on Food Network. The whole show takes place at his ranch and is a friendly competition. His family and dogs wander in and out, and it looks like the chefs have so much fun. And best of all they post the recipes! Thank you to all the food chefs online who share their recipes and tips. It’s so much easier to cook than it was when my mother had to do holiday cooking.
Friends
Family and friends are everything. If you won’t see family on the holiday, extend the length of the holiday and lean in on friends. Parents of young children often appreciate an offer to watch the kids while they wrap presents or shop. Invite them over. Cook for them. Go out to lunch with them. *Pro tip: schedule holiday lunches out w/your friends early. December is super busy for many, so get dates on the calendar in August.
Decorate
Everyone in my family appreciates the lights both inside and out. Especially CC, which I discussed last year about this time. Choose your battles though. If decorations are too difficult to put up and take down, you won’t do it. I’ll definitely put my effort into a real tree though. That smell every time I walk by is everything that reminds me of Christmas when I was young.
Fitness
It’s not glamorous or glittery, but almost everyone will feel better, on any day, if you have gone on a run or spent time at a gym. As a retired person, I literally have no excuse not to make this investment in my future. Most exciting of all, I’m investing in my grandson who will be born in January 2026!
Finally, the image above is mine except for the wreath. I asked Grok to add a wreath to the image. It did. I didn’t love the wreath (looks fake) but we fought and I finally gave up.
After my last post, one comment (on Facebook) wished me well and good luck getting a photo of the three birds I described (so great to hear from you Chris!!!) The next day, I decided to sit outside and see if I could get some shots. I got several illustrative videos and photos of Hummingbird Fight Season. The videos are short but you can see the chaos. These birds are so beautiful and so territorial.
I’ll start with the photos. Pic 1: A bird lands and another approaches (upper right). Bird one is aware that an attack is imminent which you can see by his posture. Pic 2: Incoming. Pic 3: Shortly thereafter both were gone. Click each photo to see a larger picture.
This is what happens most of late July and August.
I hope you’ll watch the videos below. They are short and show more of the scene I’m describing. It’s chaos. There’s lots of dancing in air, after the dancing in the plants that I couldn’t capture. The first video features their preferred plant for this time of the year, the Candy Corn Vine. The flowers look just like the Halloween candy we know. The second video starts with my favorite plant, the Hummingbird Mint. It’s ethereal and dreamy looking.
Hummingbird Fight Season starts in late July and goes through August. It’s always been like this for me in NC and It works like this. A bird appears on my feeder, or in the flowers. I point and focus my camera and boom, said bird is ambushed by one or two other birds. I used to put multiple feeders out hoping they would reason it out and each use their own feeder, but alas, they didn’t. It didn’t matter how many feeders were out. The bullies would just wait in the trees, dive in and scare the other away.
I’m careful about keeping the feeders very clean in the hot weather and since the birds don’t share regardless I’ve only got one in the front and one in the back. I’ve also got at least twenty potted plants on the deck and a fountain, so the they have options.
I have tried to get shots with two or even three birds, which I see regularly, but it’s super hard. You pretty much have to focus on the one who’s somewhat settled, and hope he/she gets ambushed! It’s also been cloudy on and off A LOT this month so the lighting is not always great for shooting (you know what I mean!!!)
I have plenty of pictures for the calendar so don’t worry about that. But still…
AUGUST: what happened to my sunny NC summer??? I’m not even close to ready for Fall yet!
Early this Spring brought a visit from a dear friend, who I met in person for the first time when she knocked on my door a few weeks ago on a Thursday. I’ve known her online for at least 5 years. Five years ago, we bonded on a social media site we both belong to. We exchange Christmas cards. She’s on my hummingbird calendar list, and we chat online. I was thrilled when Jennifer reached out last month and said she’d could stop by for coffee on her way to Virginia if we had time. I begged her to stay for dinner and spend the night. She rearranged her schedule (thank you Jennifer), agreed to stay and we had was so much fun. A few things about Jennifer. She’s extremely gracious. She brought me several gifts including pralines from Buc-ee’s. She’s a prodigious reader. She reads many books a month and she’s one of the few people who will read this post – lol. She’s also a writer! She not only has a substack, but by the time I post this she will have published her first book, which you can find on Amazon on April 29th, 2025 ! It’s called Dream Not For Sale: How I Chased Riches But Found True Wealth. which I just bought! It’s a glimpse into some lessons Jennifer learned when she was younger. Finally, we spent the evening chatting like old school friends and I’m grinning from ear to ear remembering the visit.
Now onto the patience part of this post. Summer, aka Hummingbird Season, is coming but it’s still currently Spring. I saw my first hummingbird of 2025 almost a month ago on a Friday. And I hadn’t seen another since—-until YESTERDAY. I saw one in the evening. This happens every year. The migrators come through, but the regulars have not yet settled. And every year, I PANIC during this period. You’d think after all these years I’d have faith they’ll come back (or I’d be uninterested because I’ve taken so many pictures of hummingbirds, who needs more?) I used to tell folks that I see them around Easter. My Dad used to joke, “so you think they follow the liturgical season Sis”? Well my friends, Easter was late this year and did not bring my regular hummingbird visitors. I guess they are not Catholic after all.
I leave you with a few images from 2024 and much gratitude for meeting a longtime friend in person! Social Media is toxin unless it’s wonderful!
I recently returned from a trip to Florida to visit my dear friend Sibyl. I mentioned Sibyl in the previous post about the wedding. I’ve known her since we both started working back in the early 90s. She lives in Delray Beach, Florida, where David and I lived until we moved to NC in 2000. In addition to visiting family and friends, one of my favorite things about Florida are Florida birds. Luckily, though it’s a pain to travel with, I brought my camera and 600 mm lens! I packed this on a whim and I’m soooo glad I did because we went to Wakodahatchee Wetlands and it was Wood Stork nesting season. I miss my hummingbirds during Carolina winters and when I saw these interesting dramatic birds – I don’t know how to describe it but I was a little short of breath and got this tremendous high as I was walking into the wetlands.
They were literally everywhere on the tops of trees (from a distance looking like popcorn balls) jockeying for position to build their nests. Every now and then you’d hear clackity clack clack, and see two males “fencing” with their long beaks to determine who was going to get “that particular spot”. Walking along the boardwalk, they were so close to me I could almost touch them, and seemed completely unbothered by the many people there to see them.
Then they flew. It was amazing to watch them fly with their long legs and descending for a landing on these branches that were small relative to the size of the bird, reminding me of many of the wobbly landings I had on the balance beam as a child.
In addition to the Wood Storks, I saw this pair of Egrets. Their plumage is just beautiful.
I saw some other nice birds! Dude in the top row with the punk rock hair cut and electric blue eyes–I see you! I see you pretty blue nesting birds and and snowy white Egret- you were probably hunting for food but it looks like you are looking in the mirror at your beautiful self. And finally, you with the beautiful blue and green feathers and giant feet- how pretty are you!
The day before I left I saw a hummingbird in Sibyl’s Firecracker bush. I couldn’t believe it and I didn’t get a shot, but I sent a silent greeting to the little guy wishing him safe travels and telling him all would be well when he makes it to The Quay. The feeders will be out and the plants blooming. See you at the end of March buddy!
On May 4th, 2024, my oldest daughter, Laura, was married. With 177 people coming it was a big event for us and I wanted to write about it because it’s something special to be surrounded by so much love. Whenever I think about the wedding, and especially look at photos, my heart is filled with gratitude.
Our guests came from Illinois, Texas, California, New York, Virginia, Minnesota, Oklahoma, Ohio and of course NC and Florida. David grew up in Florida. We were married in Florida, lived there for 10 years and Laura was born in Boca Raton Community Hospital. David has a lot of family in Florida and Florida was well represented with around 40 family members and friends. Many thanks to David’s cousin, Raisa, who convinced her mother, Coty, to make the trip. Coty and David have been close since their families emigrated from Cuba to Tampa Florida. David was 5 then and Coty is David’s beloved Tia. Coty and her daughter Raisa came to NC a few nights early, so Tia could be well rested for the wedding. A highlight for us was that they spent a night at our home prior to the wedding and we were able to have some quiet time with them, a good meal, some laughs and a little pre-wedding celebration.
Other highlights Two of my dearest friends arrived a few days before the wedding to help run last minute errands. My friend Sally is from Oklahoma, where I grew up, and I met her in college. She’s been a dear friend ever since, even making a trip from OK to NC to be spend time w/us when we brought my father from Texas to NC to live w/us in 2021. Sibyl lives in Florida. We started our careers in IT together and have been friends ever since. Some of my best memories are from time we’ve spent together over the years.
Sally, me and Sibyl
My husband’s toast was spectacular. David spoke eloquently, speaking highly of Neal’s character and that of his parents. Lastly he spoke directly to his Aunt in the balcony in Spanish, their native language. Most probably didn’t understand the words (despite years of Duolingo I didn’t) but the sentiment was clear.
Laura’s best friend’s name is Haleigh (to the right of Laura below) and she was Laura’s Maid of Honor. Laura and Haleigh met at UNC. Haleigh’s boyfriend (now fiancee), is Matt. Matt was Neal’s best man. Matt and Neal have been best friends since childhood and currently are both surgical residents. Haleigh and Matt introduced Laura and Neal on New Years Eve, 2019. This year, 2025, Haleigh and Matt will be married, and Laura and Neal will serve as the Maid of Honor and Best Man. Below is Haleigh and the bridesmaids and a picture of Neal and Matt as childhood friends. Neal is on the right.
Shannon, Isabelle, Laura, Haleigh and Samantha
Throughout the weekend, there was joy, there was laughter, and even a few tears, as CC, Laura’s younger sister, sobbed quietly from her seat during the ceremony, overwhelmed with emotion. But not to worry, she perked up when the DJ started and didn’t leave the dance floor all night. Throughout the weekend, she was surrounded by family and friends all of whom looked after her, particularly my sister in law Carol. She never left CC’s side and was giggling and laughing w/her all evening. Thank you Carol! And to each of the guests who took the time to attend the wedding, I am grateful for every one of you.
Finally, shout out to The Carolina Inn, an iconic location in Chapel Hill, who took very good care of us from the moment we met with them through to the night of the wedding. And I leave you with some of my favorite pictures from the event.
Laura and CCThe Cabana Valdes families. Coty is by Laura and Raisa is holding CC’s hand. My brother, Steve and his lovely wife Carol to the left of NealThe Bartls and the CabanasThe cutest users and flowergirls in the world and ushers came all the way from Cincinatti!
2025 is here. My last post was at the end of 2022. So many excuses not to post, including a wedding for Laura in 2024, which I’ll post about soon. It was lovely.
So let’s jump right in! I’ve become a little addicted to jumping rope outside. When I first tried it for exercise, almost a year ago, I fondly remembered the hours I used to spend jumping rope, playing hopscotch and tetherball as a child. Times were different then. There was a housing construction zone around our neighborhood and the neighborhood kids used to play in the houses being built. There were nails, machinery, ladders and other equipment around the construction site. Children today do not “play” in construction sites. But we didn’t have smart phones or the internet so outdoor activities and books it was. And this makes me laugh—those of you old enough —do you remember how at 10 the television used to blast out the message, It’s ten p.m. Do you know where your children are? Apparently someone felt they had to remind our parents to locate their children- lol.
Today I’m posting two pictures. One of my favorites from the calendar (Janet, if you see this I’ll be bringing one by for you, your sister and the office) and one of a hawk that screeched and then landed near me recently. The hummingbird is the image on this month (February). It has Valentines Day vibes, right? The hawk, well he had captured something and I got some images of that but I won’t post them. Those feet sure are lethal weapons to some in the animal kingdom. David commented that it must be pretty cool to be a hawk. Just fly around, find a snack, pause in a tree for 30 minutes while you eat -no muss no fuss–and fly off. It was nice to have an interesting bird visit, while waiting for Hummingbird Season.
The best things about Christmas are the same as the best things about weekends and every day. Family, friends, laughter, good food and good work. But Christmas gives me permission to make it all a little more festive with scented candles, glitter, sparkles, lights and two trees in my house that smell like heaven.
My sweet CC loves a lot of the same things I love about Christmas, but in particular she loves Christmas lights. All the lights! CC’s love for Christmas lights > my love for lights and I’ll bet yours.
Every morning when she awakes the very first thing CC does is to ask whoever is awake to turn the lights on. Not just the tree lights inside. ALL the lights. The garland over the fireplace, the garland on the bannister, the lights lining the pathway to our home, the lights on the outdoor holly trees, the wreath on the sunroom door, and the Santa in a sleigh with a reindeer in the front yard. This is such a high priority for CC that the requests, nay demands, happen before she picks up her beloved iPad, gummy vitamins or chocolate milk. You can see her looking out the front windows as she walks downstairs to see if the lights are on in the yard. She’ll fuss a great deal for you to get busy with the lights, even if you have other high priority tasks going on, such as letting the dogs out or turning on the coffee. It’s sometimes 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning and all of our lights are on, all day.
It’s a small thing and it makes me happy that it makes her happy.
I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season and enjoying the festivities as much as CC does.
Yesterday I was able to spend time in the sun walking and running. I had come off of a week of being sick, and there’s nothing like feeling well to make you feel grateful. It helped that Sunday was absolutely gorgeous and it helped that hummingbirds are now visiting The Quay regularly. A sunny day means great light which means there is the potential for some good shots.
Imagine my delight when I processed my many “spray and pray” shots to see a few shots I have never gotten. The pollen from the flower looks like little raindrops but doesn’t it also look like the hummingbird is sneezing? If you click the pictures you will see pollen from that Radio Red Meadow Sage in each picture but the first one-doesn’t that look like a sneeze?
I have heard of Rufous hummingbirds but have never seen one in the wild. Until April 19th. I noticed a copper colored hummingbird in my flowers and then at the feeder. It couldn’t believe my eyes and wasn’t fast enough to grab my camera until it was at the feeder. It came for two days straight but I haven’t seen it for the last three days. Maybe it was migrating? It’s a lovely copper color. The top of the head is green with iridescent feathers. The neck is green or red depending on the way the light is hitting it.
Grilling Update
The Meater thermometer sometimes works. Establishing a connection between the app and the charger is reliable. The connection between the charger and thermometer is not reliable. My husband thinks it’s because I’m not cleaning the thermometer well. That could not possibly be true (it’s probably true). The investigation is ongoing. Regardless a brisket will be smoked tomorrow to celebrate the graduation of a dear friend who will be a Nurse Practitioner. I could (and should) write a whole post about Madison, who babysat my girls and now we are babysitting her lovely girl.
In the meantime, welcome Rufous! I hope you stick around, bring your friends and join us for the party!
